Waltzing's For Dreamers

Dear Little Man,

This afternoon I decided to share with you some music that your dad gave me before we started dating. It's a special mix, and you're a special guy, so I thought it would be a nice relief from your teething woes.

At first you were listening to me attempt to sing along to Elias, by Dispatch (in Shona!) and that was intriguing enough for a while, but soon you became tired and fussy. I stood us up and walked us around the living room through the next song, but I had a new idea after that one was through.

Waltzing's For Dreamers, by Richard Thompson came on so I decided that we would waltz. I have no clue how to even begin waltzing, other than there are twirls and it's in 3/4 time. I hummed along and soon you were on your way out. I decided to keep dancing with you through Madame George, by Van Morrison. It was during this song that it struck me - you won't be my little man for always.

Someday you're going to grow up and I won't get to decide to dance with you spur-of-the-moment. Someday I won't be the person you reach for when you're sad, or want holding, or you want to be soothed to sleep. In fact someday, when you're a Big Man, I might dance with you for the last time if or when you get married. The thought of you being so big made me choke up.

So even though you wake me up at 4:30 almost every morning, you cry and cry when your teeth are bothering you, you puke on me, you poop on me, you require such constant care and attention...don't become that Big Man too quickly. Let me keep soothing you back to sleep, helping you with your teethers, cleaning up your gacks, and wiping your little bottom for a while. Let me hold you close and let you drift off to sleep in waltz time, just loving on each other, simple as that for a while longer.

Love,

Mama