Bad Mom Confession

So, I have attention issues. I was never able to focus on one thing for very long. I used to do my homework in front of the TV, with whatever book I was reading sitting right next to me. Mom says she used to hate seeing me do this, until one day she asked me what was going on in the show I was watching, what I was doing for homework (and to explain it to her), and what was going on in the book I was reading - and I could tell her all three. Here's how it worked - I could do math or fill in the blanks on worksheets without paying 100% attention to it, so there was the homework + TV. I hated commercials and could block out the noise, so I would read my book during those. See? Efficient!

This has served me well almost anywhere I've worked. This does not serve me well in breast feeding.

I signed up for weekly e-mails from BabyCenter so I could get little tidbits of info on baby development. Each week a panel of pediatricians and child psychologists answer a question. Last week, the question was:

Is it OK to nurse my baby with the TV on?

I debated whether or not to read the answers. I don't necessarily watch TV while nursing, but...um. Let's just say the Little Man is nursing right now. I can't just sit there for 30 minutes and watch him eat. I just can't. I've tried. But I get bored. I do check in on him and make eye contact and talk to him when he's interested. But really, a lot of the time he's all business and focused on eating. Or he's using me as a pacifier and falls asleep. Or, well, I just need more sensory input than 30 minutes of staring at an infant can provide me.

So there it is. Bad Mom Confession: I have to have something else to do while I nurse my son. He's going to grow up disturbed and angry because of it. Or not. I figure we're pretty well bonded even if I don't focus 100% of my attention on him every time he nurses.

Oh, and I did read the answers. General consensus is that unless you have something else you HAVE to be doing (like reading a story to an older child or taking an important call) you should be spending each and every feeding holding, talking to, and bonding with your child.

Oh well.