Siblings in a Non-Traditional Family

So we have a pretty non-traditional family.

My husband is 23 years older than I am. Including the Little Man and myself, he has 4 biological children spread out over 3 mothers. His oldest two children are adults - nearly 22 and 20 years old each. They have a younger half-sister (via their mom) who is practically a 5th child to my husband. She is 8 years old. My husband's other daughter is 15 years old and lives out of state with her mom.

I confess one of my biggest fears with having a kid with my husband was that it would create weirdness with his other kids. The last thing I would want to do is make any of them feel like I was trying to take their dad's attention and love away from them with a new familial addition.

In particular I worried about the older two. First, I had gotten a job 200 miles away from them, which cut down on how much we got to see them. Then, I got pregnant almost right away.

My goodness was it a surprise then, when the Little Man was born.

Soon after the birth, their whole family came up to visit: my husband's kids, their mom, and their little sister. It was amazing to see how taken with him everyone was. He never got put down for a moment the entire time they were up to visit. His absolutely non-maternally-inclined oldest sister held him, cooed over him, and talked to him of conspiracies to train him in good taste and fashion. His brother, who is nearly always a matter-of-fact closed book, spent long amounts of time holding him, gazing into his eyes, and talking to him.

Any time I needed to do something both of his siblings were quick to offer to hold the Little Man for as long as I needed. Sometimes I would need to go retrieve him for a feeding. It was truly heartwarming.

And their little sister, no biological relation to my Little Man, was just as into him. She always wanted to hold him. In fact, the normally almost-hyperactive child (she has a hard time staying still for more than 15 second increments) informed us that she would sit on the futon and hold her "little brother" all day if she could get away with it.

As for the youngest, well, the relationship between us and her mom is nonexistent at best, adversarial at worst. The relationship between her and her dad has been mostly via telephone since she was 6 years old. Now, ten years later they have graduated to e-mail and telephone. I've always found it remarkable how well she and my husband get on, given the circumstances. Recently there have been very rough patches, but it seems as though they've reconciled. She informed my husband the other day that a picture of the Little Man is now her desktop picture.

Now, not even 2 months after the last visit, we are getting calls from my husband's oldest daughter saying that she wants to come up and spend another week with us visiting with her brother. It all makes me so grateful that my husband was able to cultivate such caring and trusting relationships with his kids that they feel a connection to their little brother.