Was his smiling on time? Was it (:fingerscrossed:) early? Late? Should he be able to roll from his back to his side yet? 'Cause he totally does. When he says "goo," or "khhhhhhkkhhhhah," is that developmentally appropriate for a 6 or 7 week old kid? If I prop him up against a pillow and he sits up by himself for 45 seconds, does that mean that he'll be an early walker? How can I tell when he's teething? Is his poop normal? He's holding his head up really super well, isn't that special? Tell me it's special. Please tell me my kid is advanced. Or at least normal. OK, just let me know my kid isn't a freak. Scratch that, I know he's not a freak, I'M the freak around here. But seriously...he was doing mini-pushups at 3 weeks old. That's got to count for something in developmental bonus points. We do get bonus points, right?
As you can see, my relationship with you has become exceedingly toxic. I'm spending so much time over-analyzing every little thing my son does that I almost feel like I'm missing out on enjoying it. In one of my gazillion searches of your vast stores of knowledge, you told me something that I need to remember: if I think something is wrong, call the pediatrician. Otherwise, relax and enjoy watching the baby grow up.
So, Dr. Google, I'm afraid I have to let you go. I know you'll understand. It'll be better for all of us this way.
Sincere Regards,
Mama
SOL! Love this post.
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